Burgers in London are big business. If you’re stuck in a boardroom full of dry, dull, fellow employees with zero chat, try throwing the question “What’s your favourite burger in London, Clive?” into the mix and I guarantee, verbal war will descend. One burger which, for me, has long prevailed is Honest Burgers. They wormed their way into the bosom of countless Londoners long ago, like the favourite brown-nosing child, which all the other siblings hate. The one which gets away with murder. But the only thing Honest Burgers are killing is producing ridiculously good beefy parcels for London to go back to again and again.
Crazy thing about HB is how light their burgers are. Their brioche buns are sweet and airy. Their patties aren’t remotely heavy. The fillings are delicately layered. You know how sometimes, you’ll eat a burger, before soon regretting it and feeling like you’re a day away from giving birth to triplets? It’s the closest feeling men will ever come to having a baby: eating some of the heaviest burgers London has to offer. However, Honest Burgers don’t come with a parental guidance warning. I actually felt like I could eat another one, after polishing off burger number one.
I know! You’d think I’d be cradling my stomach as though it was kicking, but there was no evidence of a food baby anywhere.
We also love HB for their specials, which are constantly changing and emerging. At the time of visiting, the special was called the Karma Cola – it was a combo involving a pulled beef-laden burger, with a cocktail on the side. The cocktail was made from Karma Cola, which is this incredible fair trade cola which tastes exactly like cola cubes. It’s always a bit risky in a restaurant, ordering something which isn’t Coca Cola …but this stuff was amazingly good. Plus, for every bottle/burger sold, Honest Burgers sent money back to Sierra Leone – where the cola nut is sourced – for sustainable farming and community projects.
Actually, whilst we’re at it, let’s talk about the chips for a second. I mean …to be frank (and, I’m sorry if what I’m about to say maybe offends a lot of you foodies out there) I think my favourite chips in the world are probably …Ronald’s own. Those salty, skinny fries remain pretty unbeaten – or, at least they did, until HB came along with their filthy offering of beautiful rosemary salt chips. They’re salty, they’re crispy, they’re seasoned, they’re perfect. And really, really moreish.
Still no food baby.
Then, there’s the onion rings with bacon ketchup. Which, I thought, sounded disgusting. But then, my favourite chips in the world are from the dirtiest fast food place in all the land, so who am I to judge? Turns out, bacon ketchup is epic in its awesomeness and compliments the onion rings which were so huge, I didn’t know whether to eat them or hula hoop with them.
Still no food baby.
The wings are cooked in a damn tasty sauce. I’m not a great fan of wings, but I’ll always order them and try them cos, well, someone should. It’s just the lack of meat, you know? But if you like wings, you’ll like these. They’re strong wings.
Still no cuisine infant anywhere to be seen.
Post-dinner, we didn’t need to take a break, to get our breath back. We didn’t need a minute to recompose ourselves. We didn’t need to drink loads of water until our food hangover passed. We felt full, without feeling like our dinner had assaulted us. We love you for that, Honest Burgers! Is that why you’re honest? Cos, you’re like, kind and stuff? Well, I feel like you treated us well. Very well indeed.